Away messages of the day als typische Kategorien

Yes, this is dorky-- but I'm analyzing away messages!


Feel free to post particularly ridiculous ones and i'll add them.

Today we have the following not so choice examples--->

"Commandment Breifing, nap, and then signing for my $30,000!"--
this one resides in the classification of away messages that tell you exactly what someone is doing, this person is in the army, needs a nap, and then gets 30 grand. Similar types will state things such as showers, naps, gone to class etc.

"i'm in love with the world, through the eyes of a girl"-

this might be what I would call the abstraction type. This away message is meant to tell the voyeur of awaymessageAIMland that the person has some sort of abstract psychological thing to say, he's in love with someone? he's been listening to too much madonna? I dunno, but he won't be specific.

"i want to be a lion. yeah everyone wants to pass as cats. we all want to be big, big stars, but we've got different reasons for that."-

This person has borrowed lyrics from an Everclear song, maybe father of mine. I spotted it immediately. They don't tell you that they're using song lyrics.

And then there's always the person who quotes from cartoons, like the simpsons. I'm not even gonna transcribe it. It usually goes something like this: "homer: blah blah blah--- punch-line"; "stewie:{english accent} blah blah blah, wahahaha, punchline"

we get the idea.


"has congenital adrenal hyperpasia. that is, a hermaphodite."

Shocking, wow, Im shocked, i mean come on, arn't hermaphodites like... "wow"? fascinating! Arn't you shocked? What is this? Is it like this (below)? No actually we all see that and think WTF is this, but the person who wrote about the hermaphodites thinks its funny, precisly because we all think WTF is that. And so I don't know whether to laugh at them or with them. I mean I could be schizophrenic and do both!

"fuckfuckfuckfuckj!"

this is one of my own away messages, my favorite actually. Away messages with shit, fuck, damnnit, or any combination of explitives are cathartic ways to passively bitch to everyone on your buddy list that things are fucked up. It's a good way of getting people to ask you whats wrong.

then there's always that particular person, ahem, who always calls attention to themselves almost more vainly than they do in real life, or maybe it's just because you know what kind of people they are, that their away messages make you want to puke. yet, you keep them on your buddy list just because you can't deny thier entertainment value-- how seriously they take thier own away messages.
there have been worse, much worse examples but here's one

"holy shit. I was complaining that no one here wants to go to the hob with me tomorrow night, so someone's coming from kansas for the concert. unbelievable."

Right, I see... You're so popular and beloved by everyone that it's so surprising that wednesday night at the University of Chicago no one wants to go with you to a concert. Oh yeah and you're even more popular that someone's coming from Kansas!?!? wow! And you're so important that everyone should feel bad for you too?

i don't wanna trivialize aim messages, no one's supposed to think about them too much, they're supposed to be superficial and enigmatic. But I would say that people often use them to propogate social messages etc. They're all stupid and all fun for somebody.

The person whose maway message simply says "away," then, is the person who is either too lazy to personalize, or who likes to make thier away from or at keyboard experience completely shrouded in mystery..

That said, before I keep on ranting, meine Erkundigung muß zur siner Ende kommen.